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The Emotional Calendar: Understanding Seasonal Influences and Milestones to Become Happier, More Fulfilled, and in Control of Your Life ReviewWhen the New Year makes its entrance, it can be a very stressful time. During the final leg of the holiday season, many people self-medicate their anxieties with alcohol, food, or drugs. The idea of taking stock of the previous twelve months can send people into psychological overdrive.
It doesn't have to be that way. Dr. John R. Sharp, a psychiatrist on the faculty at Harvard Medical School, has delved into how the overlap between seasonal, cultural, and personal factors can impact us emotionally. He presents these instructive insights in his new book "The Emotional Calendar."
The period between Thanksgiving and New Year's fits into what Sharp describes as a staple of the American "cultural calendar," which can be the catalyst for "emotional disruption." These "hot spots" often overlap with an individual's personal "emotional calendar," which is comprised of birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, and remembrances of high and low points. For adults, memories--both positive and negative-- become "triggers," something that causes "feelings from the past to emerge." Grown-ups have experienced losses and disappointments, and therefore have a repository of associative memories to reflect upon. Many of these are rich in the "triggers' that can set us off. Recognizing and understanding these reactions can lead to increased self-awareness.
It is important to look at your personal experiences, and examine how they have conditioned your emotional responses. One person's beautiful blanket of pristine snow can prompt another individual to remember a broken arm suffered in the aftermath of a treacherous blizzard. Sharp explains, "The mindset doesn't have to be set in stone." We shape our brain connections through experiences that become "neurally encoded." If the holiday season or the onset of winter has been a time of anticipatory negativity, Sharp proposes that you can reformulate the personal expectation you are conditioned to--and break the "victim of circumstance" format.
Why do seasons carry emotional baggage? The problem comes when we feel out of sync. For Sharp, the most dependable key to coping is "self-awareness." He points out that "any pattern that plays out over a period of 12 to 15 years--especially early in life--is bound to leave an imprint." His definition of a birthday is "an emotionally charged marker on how we track time."
Sharp outlines that our emotional calendars are closely associated with the way our memories function, clarifying, "Our brain encodes, catalogs, and cross-references events." However, a person can change their response to those memories, as "our brains don't have to remain static." As Sharp states, "It is possible to create a new experience, innovate a tradition, take a personal inventory, and concentrate on self-aware behaviors."
He counsels sorting through feelings, finding the sources of our emotions, and recognizing the positive and negative patterns in our lives. With an increase in self-observation, one can gain perspective and identify elements that point to a recurring problem-- and then steer themselves in a different direction.
New beginnings of any sort can be challenging. Sharp lets readers know they are not isolated in their perceptions, while giving them a set of tools for mindfulness, understanding, and being pro-active about their emotional health.
This review is excerpted from an article which originally appeared on the women's health site Empowher.
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